i've come to realize that meeting new people
is like discovering another book.
learning about other people - how they act, talk, live, and overcome situations;
we go through the same things, we relate, we learn, and party hard. good books, must i say. but when it comes time to depart from them,
the feeling is overwhelming.
i forget the feeling of being around with them, almost like i wasn't even there...
like i was reading all about them or watching them from afar. so unclear, yet confusing. for as long as my mind continues to mess me up, i'll keep thinking this way. it almost feels like i'm nonexistant;
i am omnipresent
but only in the lives of the people i've met.
okay maybe not like always there,
but for the time i was there with them. i remember times when i shared emotions of every kind with these characters. we keep in touch,
through phone, mail, or by internet. and the pictures that remind me of them are like the illustrations in the books i've read.
don't really recall the feeling,
like my body's too numb to remember the way it felt to laugh at a joke that someone said back when... music keeps me present,
in this time. photos and phone calls are like talking to the past,
to the characters that i've ventured with.
they'll never leave me though,
because without them i wouldn't have become the way i am now. or maybe i'm talking about myself.
i don't know if this entry makes any sense.
i'm so confused.
what's next, people turning into origami and noodles? "reality exists in your skull" -- O'Brien [1984]
okay so, it's not an exact quote but... if reality does exists in my skull,
i can't tell what is real and what is not.
i need a psychiatrist. | 
